Skip to main content

Give Us This Day Our Daily.......LBC Post

This week's LBC topic was GIVE US THIS DAY OUR DAILY.....by the inimitable Padmini, LBC blogger from Chennai in India. I like the openness of the topic. Unfortunately, I was unwell on Friday and unable to participate.  But better late than never, so here I am.  BTW, the photograph has no relationship with the topic whatsoever. I went crazy downloading photographs of all things ancient Egyptian recently, as I was writing a novel partially set in ancient Egypt.  The only connection between the photo and the topic is the fact that the pyramids are from Egypt, which appears in the Bible quite often and the topic is a partial quote from the Bible.

All I pray to God for right now is peace.  I have very little peace in my life right now.  I have a great life.  I'm the wife of an amazing man and the mother of four wonderful kids.  I have a  happy and creative life, enjoying many activities such as reading, writing and taking care of my home.

So what's the problem?  The problem is that I am living in the wrong house, in the wrong country.  I'm living in an Indian combined family. Unfortunately, I was not raised for this kind of life.  I was raised in a nuclear set up.  I like the idea of lots of family and relatives around  and strong family ties.  Well, I am Irish after all. But I desperately need my own home, my own hall door, my own sense of separateness.  I love having family around, close enough for emotional support, but I need my space.  Do I have it?  No.

To live in a combined family, you have to speak the language of the other members.  You have to be upfront about what you need and want from the very beginning.  You have to know your rights too.  My experiment with joint family living has failed spectacularly because I could not handle the push and shove aspects.  I feel that my husband and I have given and given and given.  We haven't got anything in return.  We don't have satisfactory living space because we expected the others to understand our needs and make room for us.  They never did.  We have unsatisfactory accommodation and no privacy.  Life is very hard.  I don't wish to have enmity with anyone or tension in my life, but oh, do I want out?  So much.....


Also, if I'm having so many problems on the family front, how will I handle life in society at large?  Or rather, how will my children? They have to go out into the world, find jobs and partners.  Will they be okay?  I'm tortured day and night at the thought of what cynical, worldly wise smart alecs will do to my young, innocent kids.  I can't even give them advice, because I am a foreigner here. There's only one way out for me.  I have to return to my country.  I have a much better grasp on things there.  But my husband doesn't want to go.  Not yet.  He has a few more years before his retirement starts and he is absorbed in his work, enjoying it throroughly.  

I pray daily for a solution to my dilemma.  I ask the Lord each day to send me the answer.  Meanwhile, I wait...

Every Friday a half-dozen of us post as members of the Loose Bloggers Consortium, on the same topic simultaneously.  If you wish to check them out, their links are in the sidebar.

Comments

  1. Unfortunately, only you can make this situation change or happen.

    Take a read at this:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-manson/the-most-important-question_b_4269161.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for your visit Grannymar. And for the link. I read the article. I thought it was interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm with you. I love family, but I also MUST have my own space for my immediate family. I hope you have satisfaction soon.

    ReplyDelete
  4. We have discussed this threadbare in separate communication and it is up to you now to ACT.

    ReplyDelete

Post a comment

Thanks for visiting me. Please let me know you were here

Popular posts from this blog

Impatience

Many years ago, when I lived in Dublin, I met someone nice and started dating. I wasn't serious, I just thought we could have nice interesting discussions about India, which I found absolutely fascinating, as I was working in the Embassy of India back then. I had no intention of getting attached with a foreigner, with all the attendant cultural problems. I was happy living in Ireland and the idea of marriage couldn't have been further from my mind. We both thought we could just keep things in control. One day, after a lot of emotional turmoil and denial, it hit us both that we were in love. Truly. Madly. Irrevocably. To the point where we couldn't live without each other. I'd known about the Indian system of arranged marriages and when it occurred to me that he would probably be married off by his family as soon as he returned to India, I felt physically ill at the thought. We are both tenacious and patient people. We realised that bringing our two worlds together

The Tale of One Kitty

The cat..... Those who know me already might say that they didn't know I had a cat.  I didn't, you know! Our dog, Duggu is such a handful, I didn't think we could take on another pet. But a few months ago, a beautiful cat (whom we eventually named Puggle)  arrived. She's not really ours..... Nope! She's someone else's cat who just went on what the Aussies might call a walkabout. My younger daughter Riya found her on the roof of our house, a pretty calico (three-coloured) cat. Riya was instantly smitten. Some milk was fed to the little creature and the deal was sealed. Puggle has been a regular visitor to our house ever since. And two days after she arrived, in mid-May, she gave birth to four kittens. We'd had no idea the kitty was enceinte. So what did we do? What can you do? If a single mom landed on your doorstep and gave birth in your house, what would you do? Try to help, obviously. As the cat bore no identification and had been roaming the colony unst

A Blogging Guru

This is what a guru looks like - well something like it! Back to blogging I'm back at my blogging again. Three blogs at the moment. Not bad really, is it? My favourite blogging adventure was my original expat blog, which, unfortunately, I had to close once I was no longer able to blog anonymously. Because it was what some of our US based friends might call 'way TMI.  This is my general blog, MBB is my book blog and My East/West Life is my current attempt at blogging about life in India for an Irish wife. Then there's the experimental writing blog on Wordpress....and you know, can you believe I've been blogging for ten years now? Yes, that's right. But I've taken a looooong hiatus from blogging recently owing to the loss of a beloved family member. And I've stood back from the blogging a little. And then I came back. And amazingly, I've discovered stuff I never knew before. New discoveries I discovered that owing to Adsense ads, I've