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You know how it is when you meet a new person and they're so nice.  Could be a new colleague, sister-in-law, just about anyone.  You're so happy that you've met this lovely new person and so excited about the difference they'll make to your life.  Then one day, like two years later, you're at loggerheads and you ask yourself how such a nice person turned out to be so awful.

And you tell yourself, their niceness was just an act.

What happened meanwhile?  Life, that's what!  With its inevitable pressures of expectations and unwanted disappointments.  Someone didn't live up to your expectations.  Well whose fault was that?

The truth is, the niceness wasn't an act.  That was their real, true, good self.  But the niceness didn't stand up under pressure.  End of story.

We should never have expectations of others which are too high, you inevitably end up disappointed.  The true self was the nice self.  The horrible self is someone who is under pressure.

When we're doing interviews to get a job or trying to impress the opposite sex, we always try to show ourselves in our best light.  Are we acting?  Not really.  Just being our true selves.

Incidentally, it's much better not to have high expectations of anyone.  Less chance of disappointment.

And I never would have wanted to be an actor for all the money in the world.  Imagine spending your life pretending to be someone else?  That makes you a blank canvas, not a person!

Very deep thoughts.  Well, maybe not.  That was the topic for the Loose Bloggers Consortium this week.

This is my weekly post for the Loose Blogger Consortium. We are a group of bloggers from different parts of the world with diverse views and styles of writing, and we post simultaneously (well, we try to) on a weekly basis on a given topic.  Our members  are, in no particular order,  Anu,  Maria Silverfox,   Magpie, Will Knott,   Rohit,  Noor, JoePaulAkankshaDelirious, Padmini, AshokConrad, Maria, Grannymar, and Rummuser.  This topic 'Act' was chosen by Grannymar  


  1. First line of defence - and action, gaelikaa: Throw out the word "nice". You'll be much happier. Trust me. I am all sorts of things but I am most certainly not blandly "nice".

    As awful as it is: Relationships are not cast in stone. The good may turn sour, the bad may turn good. The former not nice, the latter a bonus.

    And please do give actors a chance. Acting is their job. Toilet cleaners too have to deliver.


  2. I think we are many things and we change in any given situation. Multi faceted. Something that makes us, as people, interesting.

  3. I like your take on this. I have to admit that I am one of those who can turn from nice to witchy. lol But I do think we all have our "public" self, and our "private" one. We tend to put on our best in public, and let out the inner devil in private. lol

  4. I wonder if when we meet people for the first time, we see them as we want them to be, rather than as how the are?

  5. @Ursula - some people do seem to have a lot of trouble with the word 'nice', I'll grant you that. I suppose 'positive' or 'pleasing' might be a better choice. The word 'nice'has become too much of a cliche to have proper meaning and rather embarrassingly displays the poverty of my vocabulary.

    Yes, relationships can turn sour, but they can become okay again if both parties take corrective steps. That's not cast in stone.

    I've nothing against actors. I'd just rather not be one, that's all.

  6. @Rebecca Bradley, multi-faceted is a great word, isn't it? Or is it a phrase?

    @ Delirious - I can't imagine you being witchy. Not in the least.

    @ Grannymar - you're probably right - as usual!

  7. Interesting take - so they're not false - just not resilient.
    That way of looking at it also relieves one of feeling rubbish for misjudging - for how can anyone tell in advance how people will bear up under pressure from a first meeting.

  8. I don't think people could easily put on an act for 2 years.
    I think that we are all capable of being nice as well as nasty and there is no such thing as being completely nice or completely nasty. I think that it IS our expectations of a person that is at error.

    When I was at school we were not allowed to use the word *nice* in our written work and I suppose the same goes for *nasty*.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  9. In my post on the same subject I have covered this generally. One should certainly expect an outcome for any action one takes, but one has to accept whatever turns up as what is supposed to happen and not get all wound up. Be it people or things. Not to have expectations is however not possible. Just try.

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  11. Great take on this subject, Maria. Something similiar happened in our family recently. A very nice person did a complete turnaround, unbelieveble!

  12. I recently came across a quote that said, People do not change, they merely reveal themselves.

    I thought that was an eye-opening take. :)


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