Mother's Guilt - Who Needs It? (Writing Workshop)

We all know that mothers are the most self-sacrificing people. Well it's one of the eternal verities that I bought into for quite a long time. I was fully ready to play my part in all of that too. Then I read a really interesting article one day that advised that time spent with your children is an investment, not a sacrifice. It made me look at things differently. I fed all my kids 'myself' which is a euphemism for breastfeeding. Deep down I admit that I didn't do it as a sacrifice. It was way too convenient for that. No getting up at night to heat bottles of milk. I could lie down and get some extra rest and feed the baby too. Heck, it was the most convenient system ever and I made full use of it.

I breastfed (discreetly of course) in every place you could imagine. On the back of scooters. In church. Even while walking along using the baby sling. It never cost me a thought. If people noticed and criticized me, I ignored them. None of their business. If they noticed and praised me for my 'sacrifice', I smiled graciously and asked 'what sacrifice?' What could be easier? No getting up in the night, no making up feeds, no dragging bottles along? As far as I was concerned, I'd chosen the better part.

One day my husband gave me a drop of whiskey in my evening glass of milk. I hardly ever drink, I must tell you. I had a great sleep that night and so did the baby. I took that whiskey again off and on, particularly if I'd had a tiring day. But I never did it when the baby was under six months old just to be on the safe side.

All my four kids fed until they were school age. They all remember feeding as toddlers. We have no regrets. It was a perfect choice for our family.

Maternal guilt - who needs it?

This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop at the blog Mama’s Losin’ It. I looked at the current week’s prompts and got inspired by the third prompt “Mother's Guilt - Who Needs It?”.

This post first appeared on Write Away on WordPress on 23 July, 2010.

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