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I Comment Therefore I Am #4

I visited a new blog,  Another Goldfish, last week.  You know the way you read a post and just like that you relate?  Well, that's what happened to me when I read this.  The lady has some sad memories of her wedding day.   First, there was this disaster at the hairdressers.  Then she'd had problems finding the right kind of wedding dress.  Having bought what she considered to be the perfect dress,  she realised that it was not a good choice, but by then it was too late.  She was now putting her wedding dress up for sale.  I commented:

Hey Goldfish, let me tell you something straight from the heart.  I had three weddings to one man, because we are different religions and cultures.  We had a  legal marriage and were married in two different religions.  My first wedding day was the Hindu one.  Do you know that Hindu brides wear beautifully decorated henna designs on their hands and feet?  Because I knew nothing and was totally dependent on his people, no-one booked a good henna artist for my wedding.  My mother-in-law slapped a bit of henna on my hands the night before.  To this day, when I see  photo albums with brides showing off their beautiful, intricate henna designs, I get a lump in my throat.  I am so with you on this one....

I think that many of us have such high expectations of the wedding day, that what would be a 'just one of those hiccups' type of matter can turn the nicest day of our lives into a total disaster.  I suppose that the lesson is don't have your expectations so high about an event that  a problem turns it into a disaster.

I visited Unknown Mami, which is rapidly becoming a favourite blog of mine for the versatility of its writer and the diversity of its topics.  In the concerned post, Unknown Mami mentioned some reading problems in her formative years.  As she comes from a Spanish speaking background yet lives in the English speaking United States, she had a few problems mastering English initially.  It reminded me of my kids and their problems with the English/Hindi combination.  I commented like this:

You are a bilingua, having both Spanish and English.  My kids are the same, learning both English and Hindi.  Therefore, learning to read and write is a slightly longer process.  But in the process - what an advantage to have to foundations of bilingualism laid in the formative years.  You are to be envied, UM, just like my own kids.....

I meant every word of that.  What's a little discomfort in the formative years when you will end up bilingual?

One of my dearest blogging friends is Ayak of  Turkish Delight.  I visited there and read a post about the wonderful kindness she experiences from the Turkish people among whom she lives.  I must mention that as I am an Irish woman married to an Indian and living in India, Ayak is a British woman married to a Turk and living in Turkey.She mentioned buses returning and collecting passengers who had missed the bus by minutes and restaurant owners who will allow you to shelter from the heat in their restaurant and even bring water, without expecting you to buy anything.  I commented:

They seem to be such lovely people. Indians are too. I left a packet of stationery behind in a shop the day before yesterday. I went back yesterday and the packet was still there, waiting for me...
Like Ayak, I have encountered lots of little kindnesses since I came here to my adopted country,  which make me glad I came!

Unknown Mami does this every week and this week I've done it too.  Thanks Unknown Mami for the inspiration.

This post first appeared on Write Away on WordPress on 2/8/2010

Unknown Mami does this every week and this week, I’ve done it too.  Thanks to Unknown Mami for the inspiration.

This post originally appeared on Write Away on WordPress on 

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