We all know that mothers are the most self-sacrificing people. Well it’s one of the eternal verities that I bought into for quite a long time. I was fully ready to play my part in all of that too. Then I read a really interesting article one day that advised that time spent with your children is an investment, not a sacrifice. It made me look at things differently. I fed all my kids ‘myself’ which is a euphemism for breastfeeding. Deep down I admit that I didn’t do it as a sacrifice. It was way too convenient for that. No getting up at night to heat bottles of milk. I could lie down and get some extra rest and feed the baby too. Heck, it was the most convenient system ever and I made full use of it.
I breastfed (discreetly of course) in every place you could imagine. On the back of scooters. In church. Even while walking along using the baby sling. It never cost me a thought. If people noticed and criticized me, I ignored them. None of their business. If they noticed and praised me for my ‘sacrifice’, I smiled graciously and asked ‘what sacrifice?’ What could be easier? No getting up in the night, no making up feeds, no dragging bottles along? As far as I was concerned, I’d chosen the better part.
One day my husband gave me a drop of whiskey in my evening glass of milk. I hardly ever drink, I must tell you. I had a great sleep that night and so did the baby. I took that whiskey again off and on, particularly if I’d had a tiring day. But I never did it when the baby was under six months old just to be on the safe side.
All my four kids fed until they were school age. They all remember feeding as toddlers. We have no regrets. It was a perfect choice for our family.
Maternal guilt – who needs it?
This post originally appeared on my blog 'Write Away'.
Ranjan was breast fed till he was three years old. My mother told us that all of us siblings too were. We have all turned out well and the two mothers involved too lived full and happy lives with their children.
ReplyDeleteI breastfed one daughter for a year, until she decided she needed to be on the move when she ate. I breastfed the other daughter until she was almost four. I'm very happy I did.
ReplyDeleteHi Yash,
ReplyDeleteSent over by Lily of when life gives you lemons as am off to India in a month or so...will enjoy having a read about daily life - thank you!
Kerry
When I was little the kids who were teething had there dummies dipped in whiskey before bed time to sooth the gums, they slept better for it too, or so I was told.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that you post this now. I could not feed my daughter exclusively because I never produced enough milk. Regardless, I still fed her as much as I could. I felt guilty about not being able to make enough milk. Now I feel guilty because she is almost 2 and I still haven't weened her. I feel like I will get judged if people know she is still nursing. Guilt is useless (at least in this instance).
ReplyDeletei miss you so..... i had to laugh because i always had maternal guilt because i couldnt breastfeed... when my oldest was born he couldnt keep anything down.. his electrolytes were all messed up.. he was allergic to my milk..lactose intollerant.. i was guilt ridden after each child.. hugs my friend!!!!
ReplyDelete