Skip to main content

Back to Work

A few years ago, when Nitin, my youngest, joined the nursery school, I was looking forward to having a few hours to myself during the day.  It's not that I want my kids out of the house, but I had this urge to do something interesting with my time.  Something that would give me a little space and an identity of my own.  It's lovely being a wife and a mother, but it is as if your real self goes underground.  Where I live people know me as someone's wife, mother or daughter-in-law.  They don't know me....

Ms. Agarwal, the principal of the nursery school (if you could call her that - there was a maximum of forty students in the school) was delighted to see me.  She'd already had some of my children  in her school.  As Nitin was my youngest and there were no more kids in at home, she asked me if I would like to  join the school as a teacher.  I thought about it.  The money was very low.  The hours were rather long.  But I hadn't worked in years.  I decided to try it.

Yash, my husband, was totally against it.  The home would suffer, the kids would suffer.  It would be a disaster.  I didn't disagree.  Sure it might not work out.  He told me straight out not to do it.  I told him I wanted to try it.  "I want to try working again," I said.  "If it doesn't work out, I'll leave." I said.  It took a while to calm him down.

So I tried it.  I did it for six months.  And no, it  didn't work out.  I was worn out physically.  I found it difficult to keep up with my cleaning, washing and other housework (such as supervising my childrens' homework).  However, I met new people.  I had some interesting experiences.  They weren't always good, but I'm so glad that I went through this because I learnt a lot.  In about the fifth month, I realised that it couldn't go on and informed the principal.  She asked me to stay until I had completed six months to help her find a replacement. So I did.

After six months was completed, I left.  I became a SAHM (stay at home  mother) again.  I loved it this time. I had more time to relax and pursue my own interests.  I took up reading again and started writing and blogging too.

But I'll always be glad I did it!


  1. Very apt title for the post. You took a break from domestic work and you went back to work.

  2. In some ways the Turkish male mentality is similar to what I think may be the Indian male mentality. In that men consider the female role to be one of staying at home and being responsible for the domestic side of things.
    One thing I made very clear before I married my husband was that I didn't agree with this. OK I wasn't wanting to work necessarily, but I wanted to have the choice. I'm not sure I would have married him if he had wanted to treat me as anything other than equal. He agreed...I have worked outside of the home a fair bit since I moved here...and he (unlike many Turkish males) has taken responsibility for domestic chores too.
    I know it's different for you as you have 4 children...a full-time job in itself...but I just wonder if you will get the urge to work again once they don't take up so much of your time...and whether you will feel you will be prevented from doing so?

  3. Better to find out so you can be sure. I went back to work when my first born was six months. I tried full time, managed part time and cried so much I had to quit after two months. But I know why I quit and no one forced me.

  4. I taught preschool for years and yes, it is exhausting--fun, but oh SO tiring! What a cultural difference in male attitudes! My father (whose father had abandoned him and his mother early on), wanted nothing more than to support his wife and children. It was "honorable" to him. He did not want his wife to "have" to work, because his mother had to support them with no help. My hubby and most young men today in the U.S. expect women to "carry their share" of the burden of supporting a family. Believe me this can lead to resentment! To stay at home and care for the home and children and NOT be respected for it, is not a good feeling!


Post a comment

Thanks for visiting me. Please let me know you were here

Popular posts from this blog


Many years ago, when I lived in Dublin, I met someone nice and started dating. I wasn't serious, I just thought we could have nice interesting discussions about India, which I found absolutely fascinating, as I was working in the Embassy of India back then. I had no intention of getting attached with a foreigner, with all the attendant cultural problems. I was happy living in Ireland and the idea of marriage couldn't have been further from my mind. We both thought we could just keep things in control. One day, after a lot of emotional turmoil and denial, it hit us both that we were in love. Truly. Madly. Irrevocably. To the point where we couldn't live without each other. I'd known about the Indian system of arranged marriages and when it occurred to me that he would probably be married off by his family as soon as he returned to India, I felt physically ill at the thought. We are both tenacious and patient people. We realised that bringing our two worlds together

Kipling Got it Wrong! Or Eastern and Western Culture - Reflections

What Is Culture? I’m opening this blog post with a question. What is that elusive concept which is commonly known as ‘culture? Culture is way of life. How we live. What our values are.  Our customs, attitudes and perceptions. And also, I suppose, how we express ourselves in art through, such as music, dance, theatre and cinema.  It’s quite a comprehensive area and not too easy to define, really. Travel between east and west is common nowadays The Journey I was born in what is commonly known as ‘the west’. I lived in Ireland for the first thirty years of my life. When I was thirty, I married my husband and came out to India to live here with him. That was the beginning of an interesting journey, which is still evolving. I must have had some east/west comparison stereotypes in my head. But in India, I found that the people I met had huge stereotypes in their heads about what they called ‘western culture’ and ‘western way of life’. Not long after

The Tale of One Kitty

The cat..... Those who know me already might say that they didn't know I had a cat.  I didn't, you know! Our dog, Duggu is such a handful, I didn't think we could take on another pet. But a few months ago, a beautiful cat (whom we eventually named Puggle)  arrived. She's not really ours..... Nope! She's someone else's cat who just went on what the Aussies might call a walkabout. My younger daughter Riya found her on the roof of our house, a pretty calico (three-coloured) cat. Riya was instantly smitten. Some milk was fed to the little creature and the deal was sealed. Puggle has been a regular visitor to our house ever since. And two days after she arrived, in mid-May, she gave birth to four kittens. We'd had no idea the kitty was enceinte. So what did we do? What can you do? If a single mom landed on your doorstep and gave birth in your house, what would you do? Try to help, obviously. As the cat bore no identification and had been roaming the colony unst