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The Thirteenth Day Approaches....

My father-in-law passed away on 1st January.  So on the 13th January, thirteen days after, we are having the Rasam Pagri ceremony which will officially end the period of mourning.  I wear old clothes every day and no 'suhaag symbols' i.e. no bindi, sindoor or glass bangles.  I feel very dull and the weather doesn't help.

Our house has been overrun with hordes of relatives over the last fortnight, and the next few days will be the same.  Actually, it is very disturbing to have strangers in  your space in the long term.  I'm beginning to feel stressed out and so do the children.

This evening my husband brought all the children in the house - ours and visiting relatives' also - out for a short outing.  He could see how fed up they are.  It gave me a bit of time to myself, which was nice.

It's only a few more days.  That's what I keep on telling myself.


  1. Yes, it can be very stressful having a lot of people in your personal space. You have to be 'on' all the time.

    Just a few more days.

  2. I am really sorry about that. i somehow or other didn't grasp your bereavement was your father in law. I must be more brain dead than I was before.

    Not an easy thing to have happen and I hope your mother in law is doing OK.

    Nuts in May

  3. Oh dear, I know how it feels to have so many people over at your place. Especially at someone's death. Things seem so dull. I hope God helps you and your family through these times.

    Pretty soon, you'll have you space again, InshAllah. Things will get better.

  4. Hope all is well with you.

  5. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

  6. So many different ways of counting and marking the mourning. You talk of thirteen days, Ramana mentioned six months and as you know in Ireland some folk count the first year as mourning. Thank goodness the days of widows wearing black for the remainder of their lives has passed. My Paternal grandmother wore widows black for 33 years!

  7. It helps a lot to know there will be an end to it. Our hearts are with you.

  8. oh that does sound like it could be very wearying.

  9. Ellen - that is what I keep telling myself.

    Maggie - My mother in law is quite busy now, but she's going to need me more in the future when everyone goes home!

    Kaibee - thanks for your support

    Hilary - thanks for the comforting words and concern

    Marie - Yes, the mourning period will come to an end soon although we probably won't celebrate festivals for a year.

    Michelle - you're right, it's wearying.

    Corvedacosta - thanks for coming over!

  10. I won't be able to stand it but like you I feel I may have to bear with it. I'm not sure I can do it though.


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