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Separation

Separation is the state of being apart from someone or something particularly indispensable and necessary to one's very existence.

The very word 'separation' has such negative connotations.  It has come to mean that stage before divorce, where a couple splits and both parties move out of each other's lives. 

I don't see it quite that way.  My husband and I were 'separated' by a distance of about ten thousand kilometres for several years before we made our relationship legal and permanent.  The long separation made for a very passionate and thrilling courtship period.  I can't even think about it now without getting goosebumps.  

I wouldn't say that being together is boring but......it's different. Very different.  Being able to take each other for granted can do untold damage to a relationship.  But of course there are worse things for a relationship than separation(s).  There's breakdown of communication and loss of respect.  It's very hard to get a relationship back on track when these things have occurred.

But I do believe in miracles.  Sometimes they happen.  I've seen my own marriage go from dead-as-a-doornail-hopelessness back to passionate again.  So there is such a thing as hope.  

For that you need faith.  Preferably several tons of it.

For my part, I think separation is necessary in every relationship at some stage.  When my babies were new, I lived with them 24/7. I slept with them, I fed them myself (breastfed for years, I did) and never let them out of my sight.  It wasn't easy charging around after the lively, mobile toddlers that they became.  I gave birth to Manan at forty so at an age when girls I went to school with were becoming grandmothers, I was in the throes of new motherhood. But as they've grown older, they've grown away from me and developed their own unique personalities.  They are no longer an extension of me.  And I love them all the more for that.

I always find I love my spouse more when we've spent a few days apart.  I need time to myself, reading my books, writing, blogging. And cleaning my house, of course.  We can sit together and be completely immersed in our own interests.  I don't get restless when he's not around.  He always comes back, you see.

Maybe it sounds odd and strange.  But that's just me....

This is an LBC post.  Links to LBC members in the sidebar. Thanks to All Free Download for the photo.  And lettercount.com for the character count facility.




Comments

  1. Uh oh, hope I didn't mess up again. I have Discovery for this Friday's topic.

    Maria, you did a great job of explaining feelings of separation. Before my husband passed away, a few hours would cause me to miss him.

    blessings ~ maxi

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  2. My husband has been working from home here in China and although we have been together more, I haven't tired of it. It's actually been very, very nice. :) But we don't spend ours days in the same room, so maybe that is what saves us. lol

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  3. Lovely post, Maria. Absence makes the heart grow stronger. Caroline x

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  4. There are definitely degrees of separation - my late wife's illness essentially took her essence many years before it took her life. I worked from home the last 3 years of her life to be there but it was almost an exercise in futility - but now that she is gone, the loneliness has set in. I know it will pass in time. I do not dwell on the past but occasionally the past has a strong hold that must be loosened.

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  5. It hurts when for years you are joined at the hips and suddenly one partner decides to leave. But otherwise, the best marriages that I have seen are those where one spouse was away most of the time and coming home was an event!

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  6. A bit too much information !!

    ReplyDelete

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