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More Lies!

Monica, a friend of mine, found out something lately which has almost devastated her.  Like me, she is married fifteen years and has several children.

Monica and her husband had a 'love marriage' which means that they didn't have an arranged marriage, as has been the custom in India up to the present day.  Monica and her husband Anil were very much in love.  Although Monica wasn't enthusiastic initially, she agreed to live with her in-laws as Anil was the only son and she didn't want to upset the family.

Over the years she has noticed Anil cooling off towards her considerably and he has let her know several times that he feels that she is 'irresponsible' and 'not to be trusted'.  She couldn't understand why and had been very disturbed by this.  She recently found out why this has been happening.

Akanksha, her husband's sister's daughter, stayed with them for a while when she was pursuing a post-graduate course in Lucknow.  She got to know Monica very well  and the two struck up a deep friendship.  Akanksha realised something bad was going on and she recently revealed to Monica that her mother-in-law (MIL) has been sneakily telling not only the husband, but even the relatives, a pack of lies.  Sadly, everyone has believed her, Anil included.  For fifteen years she has been saying that Monica is immature, irresponsible and untruthful.  Whenever a mistake was made in the kitchen she would say that Monica did it.  She also tells Monica's children that Monica is not to be trusted.  This is quite unforgiveable.  Happily, the children have not bought into these lies.

Monica is understandably devastated by  this.  This has gone on for so long that the damage is almost irreparable.  Anil spends as much time out of the house as possible and has long chats on his mobile with both male and female friends when at home.  One day the eldest child (aged 13) was furious to hear Anil telling an unidentified female friend that Monical was a 'hopeless housekeeper' and that his mother was required in the house 'to keep an eye on her.'  Anil's one major fault is that he has full confidence in his mother.  Monica knows that trying to convince him that his mother has been feeding him a pack of lies for fifteen years would be a hopeless task.

Now that she has become more aware, she has started speaking out about this when she talks to the relatives.  She also has Akanksha's support in this.  But she has already made her decision.  If her relationship with Anil does not improve significantly in the future, she plans to leave him and strike out on her own once the children are settled.  Great idea!  The only problem is that she'll be near enough to sixty when that happens.  But she doesn't care.

Monica knows that her MIL will pay for this someday as the Bible very clearly states 'what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'  That woman  ruined a perfectly happy marriage but will she ever realise what she has done?  Probably never...


  1. Why are Indian men unable to put their wives in First Place? There is some sense to it when the marriage is arranged at an early age. But hell, when a gut picks his own wife surely he loves her above and beyond his birth family?

    Only on Monday, did I have a conversation with my SIL about my not wanting to be the MIL from Hell. There is no reason for it since we both love my daughter and want her to be happy. The best way to achieve this is to work together. We do and always have.

  2. I really don't understand the hateful attitude some Indian women have towards their DILs. What is the purpose of undermining her son's marriage? She is the one who will suffer when her DIL is gone. She thinks her son is going to step in and do what her DIL does? Such childish and unnecessary jealousy. Why create discord in the home where you have to live.

  3. Truth is stranger than fiction! May I take a different tack on this than Grannymar and Ellen Abbot? Please drop the Indian adjective, and this story could be true in any part of the world including the West, though in the West, they may not be living under the same roof. I know of similar MIL and DIL problems with Mama's boys not standing up for their wives in the West too.

  4. That was a terrible thing to do. I hope Anil comes to his senses and realises what has been going on.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  5. Thank goodness Hubby knew me better than I knew myself. He said from the beginning it would never work for us to live in India because of things like this. Sometimes men do put their wives first. I know how lucky I am.


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