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The Inner Child

I read somewhere once that everyone has an inner child, who is around three years old.  The child has a capacity to feel delight and love, and loves to play.  Maybe it is true.  I find the inner child comes out a lot when you play with kids.  Yash, my husband, is a serious man who doesn't have much time to play with his children.  Yet I have seen him, when the pressure is off, bonding with them far better than I do.  His bond with our youngest, Nitin, is especially close.  I think his inner child comes alive when he plays with Nitin.

When I was expecting Nitin just over seven years ago, Yash was very depressed.  He grew a large black beard and wore a morose expression most of the time.  Most people around, especially hearing that I was expecting my fourth child, were shocked and were offering us condolences rather than congratulations.  No doubt, raising children is an extremely expensive business in India today.  Most people have two children at most.   Many have just one.  That's their choice.  I don't say it's right or wrong.  We had decided on two and ended up having four. Many people scolded me for my 'carelessness'.  I replied that I couldn't help it.  I also added: "I didn't plan it, but now I want it".                                    

That year, my pregnancy came to its conclusion at the end of summer.  I was determined to keep myself happy no matter what. I knew that a negative mood and outlook would affect my child adversely and I had to stay happy not matter what was the mood of those around me. One night we went for a walk in the local kids playground.  Now  I've always loved swings.  Because it was night-time and no-one was around, I sat on the swings for a while and started to drift along.  The swings were strong and in no danger of breaking under my weight.

As I started to swing a bit faster, something strange happened.  The child in my womb, Nitin of course, caught the sensation and went crazy, absolutely kicking like mad.  I was astonished.  None of my four babies ever kicked much.  I had to get down from the swing.

Whenever I think of the 'inner child' I think of that event.  Nitin loves when I tell him that story.


  1. I am yet to grow up, if you can believe some of my relatives and friends. I am therefore both an internal and external child I suppose!

  2. Of course, he loves to hear that's story. It's beautiful.


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