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Missed Call

One of my friends, Jacqueline, is not in touch with me nowadays.  It is not that I don't mean to contact her, but I keep forgetting to call her.  Her daughter Carol is in my daughter's class.  The last time I was down at the school I saw the girl.  She told me "please call Mummy, she is missing you!"

I did call.  In fact, whenever we speak, it is always me who calls.  We both have mobiles, but to tell the truth,  Jacqueline, who runs a small business, never seems to have balance in her 'phone.  About eighteen months back, when we were in regular contact, she used to call me a lot.  But when I picked  up the call, she was gone.  I would call her back again and again.  I presumed that there was some glitch in her phone. 

One day I had to call her for some reason.  Her daughter, who picked up the call said "Mummy's not here right now.  I'll give you a missed call when she comes back."  A missed call?  Then I understood.  She was making these calls to have me call her back.  I was a bit annoyed.

Yes, I know Jackie is struggling through life.  Both she and her husband have to struggle to make ends meet.  My husband is in a permanent, pensionable government job with a fixed salary scale.  But I somehow resented the assumption that I am the one who is well off and should pay for every call.  We are even on the same network and can talk for half nothing at night.  It wouldn't kill her to make a five minute call just once a week. Mere pennies.  It just irked me the way she had instructed her daughter that I was to be given 'missed calls."

I didn't consciously make a decision not to call her anymore.  It just happened.  She stopped giving me 'missed calls' and I call her up now and then whenever I remember.    She never calls me now, although we are still officially friends.

Strangely, my sister Pamela has been going through a similar problem in Ireland with a friend who keeps on giving 'missed calls.'  She is finding it irritating.  Ironically, that friend is an immigrant to Ireland from India.But from south India, not the north where I live.

Probably just a coincidence.


  1. Hello my dear.. I missed you.. im back now blogging...after a little rest... I have much to catch up on with you so i will be reading your older posts... all my love... ps my sister is having a baby.. she married a guy right from ireland.. they are naming him Declan Patrick (i think thats how u spell declan)/// very Irish huh??? hugs

  2. My mum does that and it really, really irritates me. In fact, she often texts "please call me" and cannot seem to understand that it actually costs the same to talk for two minutes as it costs to text.

    Then againm, I hate speaking on the phone so that makes me especially likely to get irritated by people making me jump through hoops when they want to speak to me.

  3. Oh,no! South Indians can be as penny pinching as the ones from the North of the Vindyas. They can also be as broke as the others! Gaelikaa, the world is full of people who have a mentality of shortages. They go through entire life times on that mode. There are some, on the other hand who go through life with a mentality of abundance. The latter seem to flourish, irrespective of what part of the world they come from!

  4. Oh I so hate missed calls to be called back! And if I know it's the case I rarely call back! ;-)

  5. Oh I've had this happen to me so many times. I don't call back now. I too resent that I should always be the one to use credit on my phone, when I'm actually struggling financially...much more so than the person giving me "missed calls"!

  6. I knew someone who promised to call and never did so I eventually gave up calling them. Do I miss them? No way.

  7. Very mysterious that, when people always manoeuvre you into calling them. Meanness sure, but there must be something else as well. Maybe they want you to want them enough to call THEM? Or it feeds some sort of control mania? But sooner or later they lose out because you just won't bother to call any more.

    Ramana - I love your idea of a mentality of shortages or a mentality of abundance! I try to have the second but I keep unconsciously veering towards the first!

  8. I had a friend who used to do that to me. Once, she said "oh, I have to me back in a minute!" as if something important had just happened but alas, she hadn't hung up the phone and I heard her say to her husband "she's the mug who'll pay the cost of the call".

    To this day, it's made me that tiny bit cautious of people because you would never guess in a million years that she was that sort of person and not even secretly; her husband and her were obviously in cahoots about it. Sad but there we have it.

    It's lovely to be back reading your blog, hon. xx

  9. Hey Galikaa, long long time and no chat! School keeps me so busy! :D
    Anyway, you might find it surprising, but I think that is how it works in this part of the region. People prefer missed calls rather than phone calls 'cos they are expensive. My mom and dad call a lot of people back simply because the people they call can't afford to make long phone calls. This might seem seriously irksome to you but it really isn't much of a dilemma here.

    Anyway, I hope you are fine. :)
    Miss you!


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