Skip to main content

Empty House

All but two of the relatives have gone back now.  The house is our own again.  I can hear our voices echoing around.  It seems hard to believe that in this very house two days before there were several hundred people here to attend a religious ceremony.  But it is true.

In fact, we had relatives visiting non-stop for the past three weeks.  People coming and going every single day.  My father-in-law's two widowed sisters have remained here and all the other relatives have gone away.  It is nice for my mother-in-law to have the company of her two sisters-in-law.  They have always been close to her, never more than now.  My mother-in-law cried a lot yesterday when her younger daughter, Rashmi,  left here.  I could see Rashmi becoming distressed.  I had to reassure her.  "Don't worry!" I said.  "I'm here.  I'll take care of your mother for you!"  To tell the truth, I get very emotional when my mother and I have to say goodbye, whenever we get together.  I could identify with Rashmi's emotions very easily.

I know that there will be difficult days ahead.  Nowadays, there is a lot of support around for my mother-in-law.  But in a short while life will get back to normal and she will feel very much alone.  So nowadays, I am keeping in the background and allowing the visitors to interact with her as much as possible.  Because I know she is going to need me when her sisters-in-law leave here. 

Comments

  1. Very wise to stand back. I will keep you all in my prayers as this time of adjustment settles...

    ReplyDelete
  2. you sound like such a wonderful support for your family.

    ReplyDelete
  3. She certainly would need you. But you know what, above everything, time in itself is the best healer. We can't forget harsh stuff ever, but we learn to live with it. There are going to be difficult times ahead, but have patience, because God creates balance, he will give you happy times too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The days following a funeral are always a bit of an anti-climax. Most people return to their normal busyness while whose bereaved face long empty days. Having family and especially grandchildren about should be a great help and consolation to your mother-in-law

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with Grannymar, living with her family, especially the children, should help. Our hearts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are a VERY good daughter in law.
    The goodbyes are always a gut wrenching experience I find.
    Wishing your MIL the very best that could possible be in store for her.

    Nuts in May

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are so considerate to your family, they are lucky to have someone so sensitive and considerate at their heart.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am so sorry about the loss of your FIL-- and for not being here since it happened!
    Your family is fortunate to have your wisdom and compassion. Nothing is worse than someone who wants to help so much that they cause you even more stress than a passing already brings.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are wonderful to your mil.

    Thinking of you all at this time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for visiting me. Please let me know you were here

Popular posts from this blog

Kipling Got it Wrong! Or Eastern and Western Culture - Reflections

What Is Culture?
I’m opening this blog post with a question. What is that elusive concept which is commonly known as ‘culture? Culture is way of life. How we live. What our values are.  Our customs, attitudes and perceptions. And also, I suppose, how we express ourselves in art through, such as music, dance, theatre and cinema.  It’s quite a comprehensive area and not too easy to define, really.



The Journey
I was born in what is commonly known as ‘the west’. I lived in Ireland for the first thirty years of my life. When I was thirty, I married my husband and came out to India to live here with him. That was the beginning of an interesting journey, which is still evolving. I must have had some east/west comparison stereotypes in my head. But in India, I found that the people I met had huge stereotypes in their heads about what they called ‘western culture’ and ‘western way of life’. Not long after I arrived in India, I was struck by the number of people who said things to me like ‘in the …

The Climate in my Hometown LBC Post

I am originally from Dublin in the Republic of Ireland. We have a maritime climate, neither too hot nor too cold. Cool, wet winters and warm summers.  We get the odd freak weather condition, like several feet of snow, once in a while to make life interesting.  Pretty ideal really.  

Now I reside in Lucknow in north India. In the Indo-Gangetic plain.  Cold dry winters, roasting hot summers and a humid rainy season.  It seems like it's always too hot or too cold. Or too humid. Humidity is something I dread.  It brings itching, rashes and all of that.  Okay, too hot will work for me. So will too cold (although I hate dry cold, that's energy-sapping). But humidity is .......not at all good. And that's a euphemism if ever there was one,. 

I wish to dedicate this post to my beloved and erudite rakhi brother Rummuser, who suggested this topic.

And thanks to freedigitalphotos.net for the above illustration, 'Paper Weather Icon Illustration' by SweetCrisis.

The Loose Blogging C…

Impatience

Many years ago, when I lived in Dublin, I met someone nice and started dating. I wasn't serious, I just thought we could have nice interesting discussions about India, which I found absolutely fascinating, as I was working in the Embassy of India back then. I had no intention of getting attached with a foreigner, with all the attendant cultural problems. I was happy living in Ireland and the idea of marriage couldn't have been further from my mind.

We both thought we could just keep things in control. One day, after a lot of emotional turmoil and denial, it hit us both that we were in love. Truly. Madly. Irrevocably. To the point where we couldn't live without each other. I'd known about the Indian system of arranged marriages and when it occurred to me that he would probably be married off by his family as soon as he returned to India, I felt physically ill at the thought. We are both tenacious and patient people. We realised that bringing our two worlds together would…